LIGHTER SIDE:Your Doormats Keep Me Chuckling

These lovely summer evenings, as I go walking among your homes talking with many of you and leaving you notepads, I enjoy the creativity I read on your doormats. They are a great opportunity for you, the home owner, to make a statement. Some are humorous, some very touching and many send me on my way pondering. As you may know, I knock on over 2000 homes in South Huntington Beach. Going out 4-5 times a week, it takes me 6 weeks or so to cover all the tracts I specialize in. That would be homes in Park Huntington, La Cuesta, Deane Gardens, Fashion Shores, Oceanaire, Yorktown, Presley, Beach, Southport, Huntington Strand and Concord Place. That is why I have s crew of 9-10 people who deliver flyers and information to you every week, so that I can take my time coming in person and talk to you as long as you like. Many of you have graciously invited me in to see your home asking for ideas or showing me your newest upgrade. Doing this for over 14 years has made me somewhat of an expert about every single model, what can be done with each, how people have remodeled, where they took the wall out etc. I have become a helpful resource person due to your hospitality. This in addition to meeting so many delightful people…even if they never sell their home! I’m able to enthusiastically share those ideas with another neighbor who needs help in remodeling. I wouldn’t for a minute miss the fun of seeing your home, right down to your new avocado tree, new pedestal sink or new paint in the kitchen. This is how my referral book was started…home owners sharing with me what contractors, plumbers, painters, handymen, etc. that did a good job for them. If they are happy, into the book they go to help out the next person who needs it. Many of you have called me and used the referral book. I welcome your call anytime with no strings attached.

One terrific result in taking the time to listen to you is that it has become very helpful to my clients who call me months before they plan to sell their home to find out what improvements will have a good return on their dollar and which won’t. But I digress. I thought you’d get a kick out of reading some of the 2000 doormats I come across. So, here they are in no particular order. And, please, not all reflect the view of this author, but are enjoyable, none-the-less.

“Our beach house…may your time be filled with relaxing sunsets, cool drinks and sand between your toes.”
“Horse people are stable folk”. “Martha Stewart doesn’t live here.” “If we’re not home, you can find me at Home Depot.” “Home sweet home.” “We love our vacuum, we’ve found God and we gave at the office”. “Gone surfing.” “Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.”
“Who are you, why are you here, what do you want? We’re not home”. “God Bless America”. “May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. And may God hold you in the hollow of His hand, ‘til we meet again.” (Irish saying). We shoot every 3rd realtor. The 2nd just left”. “God bless America.” “Bless this house.”
“My dog ate the doormat”. “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”. “We serve only the finest California wines. Did you bring any?” “God bless this mess.” “Never mind the dog, beware of the kids.” “God bless our mortgaged home.” “Here lives one old fisherman and the catch of his life.” “Attack cat on premises.” “I’m proud to be an American”. “Grandkids spoiled here”. “Gone fishing.” “The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.” “Go away.” “One charming person and one old grouch live here.” “Peace to all who enter here”.

Where but in America can you say pretty much what you want, when you want to? It’s your house and your personality shines through. My summer evenings are more enjoyable because of meeting you…and your doormats! Have a great summer and call me when you need me!

DATING & MARRIAGE: Spoiled Rotten

Disclaimer: Warning! If mushy, romantic stuff is not your cup of tea, do not read the following article! It is unashamedly, blatantly, hopelessly mushy!
It’s funny. Of all the things I’ve written about in the Baker Breeze for over 14 years, the greatest response I’ve gotten from any of you is your delight when Wally and I got married last May. I’ve tried to figure out why. Why should anyone give a hoot when two old codgers like us find each other so late in life? But that’s just it, I’ve learned. Singles of all ages who seem to be okay with their lives light up when they learn that, “even Ann” found a great partner. I, too, was a relatively happy single and had made up my mind it was okay when Wally burst into my life setting off all the bells and whistles. So I guess we’ve been somewhat of an inspiration to not only the singles, but to you dear readers who have wanted me to be as happy as you are in your marriage. How kind of you! Since everyone seems to want to know how we’re getting on, here it is!

I am spoiled completely rotten! I expected the honeymoon to wear off in these 9 months. But, no way!
He far exceeds my wildest expectations because, he is even more than I thought he was! So each sweet unexpected thing Wally does blows me away!

It’s the simple stuff that touches me. For example, efficient single that I was for many years, I’d leave the living room light on with an automatic timer so that I never came home after work to a dark and lonely house. I didn’t know what a difference it would make to walk in the door and be greeted by that warm, good-natured, glad to be alive, isn’t life great, smile. And sometimes, the smell of something delicious he’s cooked up if he had time. Little things…making a mental note to myself while running in and out on appointments….”Self, put the trash at the curb tonight, empty the baskets.” Next time I run in the door, poof! He’s done it already! I didn’t even have to ask. Can he really understand how much that lifts my spirits? I keep telling him.

And then there’s the food thing! We both love to cook because we simply love to eat! Nothing fancy.
Did you ever meet a glutton who didn’t like to cook? Well, I’m that glutton and I like to cook almost anything! Wally is quite handy in the kitchen too…salmon cooked in spices, the greatest country breakfasts in the world, special Wally pancakes made from scratch and even pretty good salads. Not to be outdone, I must demonstrate my culinary skills with my crockpot. Sour kraut layered with pork chops and potatoes and cooked all day, my own spaghetti sauce from scratch (almost) and homemade soups. Now that all sounds pretty healthy doesn’t it? But not if you eat plate after hoggish plate like I’m doing! The fact is, even with my walking a lot, I’m projecting I’ll weigh 400 pounds in another 2 years! But it is so fun to eat together! Then you add our favorite restaurants when we’re too tired to cook and, well, you get the idea!

So, we’re trying to get back to some ballroom dancing. We met at a dance, you know. The very first dance, he snuggled up close to me and I thought, “How dare he? I hardly know him!” But, it felt so good that I snuggled up to him and the rest is history. Playing house is fun, Hanging his favorite pictures mixed with mine seems, perfect. And I haven’t even mentioned the fun of being Grandma Annie to his three little doll grandchildren! And he seems to enjoy my 2 angel grandchildren too! Honestly, I didn’t know life could be so good. It’s as if we went backwards to being young again, or at least, young at heart. Wally even helps me with my real estate putting up signs for me and going over reports with me! He continues to work 2-3 days a week as a pharmacist because he loves it.

Maybe we appreciate each other more because we’re older and know life can be short now. But that doesn’t exactly make sense because you can be young with no guarantees in life and be hit by a truck so who’s to say when we each check out? Or maybe it’s the long years alone. I had no clue how sweet it would be to have a loving companion, a true friend who makes me laugh a lot, a handsome dude, even a partner with my family

Because, you see, I didn’t know there was a Wally until that wonderful day he danced into my life! I warned you it would be mushy! You’ll have to excuse me now. I need to turn the light on in the window and start dinner before he gets home so I can spoil him rotten too!

HOW TO STAY HAPPILY MARRIED: Survey

HOW TO STAY HAPPILY MARRIED
Recently I asked many of you for your advice on marriage as I approach our wedding day in May. Well, here it is! The serious, the practical, the light-hearted, just as you gave it to me! Lots of it! We appreciate it all! I’ve had a blast listening to you and thought you’d all enjoy hearing it too! So, here we go…
“Marriage is like climbing a mountain. Your home is base camp where there’s comfort, support, love and nurturing. You have that base to fall back on every day.” (Married 40+ years)…,”Love is a noun, not just a verb. In the movies it’s a noun. In real life, it’s a verb. Something you do. Meaning you go home and express love even when you don’t feel loving and even if you’re mad. The response you get generates even more love.”….“Just shut up”…. “Just listen”…..
“Marry someone who you really like, not just are infatuated with.”….“Marry someone you really trust. Don’t ever cheat on each other. It’s too hard to win trust back.”….“It’s important to have the same values. When hardships hit the fan, if you have the same values you’ll make the right decisions together.”….
“Never renovate a house together, especially a kitchen.”….“Have lots of things in common to do together. It’s too lonely if you are doing the majority of your stuff apart, and too tempting”….“Don’t marry, period”….“My wife is first in my life. Not the kids. I make sure she knows she’s number one. That way, she feels secure and the marriage will last. Without a strong marriage, the kids have nothing. Raising kids is very demanding. It’s too easy to let everything else go.”….“Be sure you agree on how money is to be spent. Have the same priorities.”…. “Don’t be separated for long periods of time. You grow apart.”…….
“Give ten hugs a day minimum.” (She’s a psychologist)….“Your mate should be your dearest friend who you enjoy talking and laughing with. That will hold you together through thick and then.”….“Obey. Remember, the wife is the boss.”….

“Just marry a Farris!” (my new daughter-in-law said this. My fiancés’ name is Farris)….. “Be nice to your mate. Friendly, and kind.”….“Respect is on-going everyday. Don’t take each other for granted. My wife and I thank each other for little things everyday, even unloading the dishwasher…..“My friends criticize me for having someone in to clean the house every 2 weeks even though my wife is a stay at home mom with 2 toddlers. They say we could save that money. But in the future when the kids are grown, I don’t want a bitter old woman who wants to leave me. So, we’re as happy as clams.”….“Stay humble and thankful. Just be glad that you get to do this at all. Thank God everyday. (Married 60+ years)…..
“Never talk behind each others backs. If you expect your relatives to like your spouse, they won’t if you’ve torn him to shreds behind his back.”….

“Don’t criticize. What’s done is done”….” Be playful, be silly sometimes, like children”……”Say I love you
morning and night”…..
“Just have a really good time. Life is too short” (Spoken by a young widow who has a 6 year old child)…..“Men are very simple. Women think men are complicated. All I need, as a husband, is a calm household when I come home and respect. I think women are more intelligent.”….
“Don’t play the victim role. Poor me. You have to make choices if you don’t like something or feel you’re being treated unfairly. Speak up.”….“Be available for intimacy for your mate. Think about what he/she wants, not just you.”
“A woman should let her man feel like he’s getting his way. Women know how.”….“Keep yourself up. My wife of 50 years always cleans herself up just before I come home. She makes a big deal of it when I come in the door. I really appreciate that.”…. “Never wall paper together.”….“Marriage is a 75% overlap. He does 75% and you do 75%. Then, everything is covered.”… “Savor the joy. Go on trips, even short one day trips together.”….“Make him the top priority. Not the kids, relatives, friends or work”….“Make up your mind that marriage is a trip you have chosen to go on. You decide before hand to enjoy every part of it…the crisis, the good and the bad because you decided to take the trip and it is a huge adventure. You’re lucky to get to go at all.”….“Don’t expect your mate to be responsible for your happiness. You have to make your own self happy”…..“Put God first in your home. Pray together. That brings a special closeness.”…..

So there you have it! Take what you want from it, or what you need from it! Thanks so much! We’ll take it all to heart! We hope you’ve enjoyed reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed interviewing you!

FAVORITE QUOTES:
“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” Robert Frost

“If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.” (Cher)

“If a man is alone in the woods and a woman is not there to hear him, is he still wrong/” Unknown

“For myself, I am an optimist—it does not seem to be much use being anything else.” Churchill

“Of course I believe in luck! How otherwise to explain the success of some people you detest?” J. Cocteau

“At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.”(S. Maugham)

“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” (Willa Cather)

DATING & MARRIAGE: Married 12 vWeeks=3 Years

Yes, it’s true. You see, my charming new husband Wally and I quickly figured out that at our age, we’ll probably never make it to a 50-60 year anniversary like so many of you. So, why not have an anniversary
every month? Think of the advantages! In 4 years we will have celebrated 48 anniversaries! We want to keep the romance going in our lives anyway, so why not build in a special day every month? So, we’re doing it. Last Saturday was our 12th week of marriage, or third anniversary.

We went to Maggiono’s for dinner and then we were off to Fullerton to see the Fullerton Civic Light Opera’s performance of “Tin Pan Alley Rag”. Delightful. Now I had arrived home that afternoon hot and tired from work feeling quite old and haggard. But the minute I put on my “magic” dress I was transformed from an aging realtor to, well, maybe a feisty teenager at just the thought of going out with him! Oh, it’s not really a magic dress, but sort of because it’s the dress I had on when I met Wally five years ago. It’s just real simple. A boat neck top, fitted waist with a wide belt that makes me looks better than I am, and a wide swishy skirt that flairs out when you dance. It has simple little red flowers on it. It always takes me back to the first time I laid eyes on Wally literally across a crowded room.

I didn’t want to go to the dumb dance 5 years ago. Tired. At my age I just want to go home after work. But a friend talked me into it. It was a dance sponsored by a Christian group and my friend would drive. Fine. We got half way there and I thought, “Oh, my gosh, what have I done!” I don’t have my own car, everyone there will be half my age, no one will ask me to dance and I’ll be stuck there! Besides all that all the men will be fat, unemployed, looking for someone to support them and have bad breath! Yuck! Who needs it? You could say I had an attitude. Turns out I knew tons of people there from the various singles groups I had circulated in these millions of years. People from St. Andrews, the Crystal Cathedral, Mariners, Cabaret, etc. And most of them knew I love to dance, so I really was having fun and forgot about how old and haggard I must really be.

Anyway, this gorgeous hunk came through the crowd. (I won’t let him read this). Looks like George Bush Senior. Broad shoulders, beautiful smile, his mouth turns up naturally from sheer habit from being so good-natured. We danced east coast swing (the old jitterbug) like we’d danced together all our lives! Then, he disappeared into the huge crowd. I thought, “And that’s the way it goes, the ones I like disappear. The ones I described above always come back. Shoot.” But he did find me again. For conversation, he wanted to know what I do for a living. I stalled. When guys find out you’re a realtor, it’s goodbye. You work on weekends, forget it. But he dug it out of me in his charming way. He said, “Oh, good! I’m a broker!” He snuggled up against me in a slow dance and I thought, “How dare he! I hardly know him”…as I snuggled up to him. The bells and whistles went off like mad. But, I warned myself, he can’t be as nice as he seems. Don’t get too excited. They never are. The phrase” nice man” was an oxymoron to me like jumbo shrimp and military intelligence. There must be something wrong with this guy. He talks like he loves his grown kids, their wives, and the grandchildren, even, well, just people. Weird. Crazy. Because I feel the same. Scarey. I had given up on meeting someone like him. (It was comforting to know we knew lots of the same people. I checked him out later. He is the real thing.)

Well, he did take my number. He did come to Huntington Beach to walk on the pier with me and go to dinner. I thought I’d never see him again once he saw that I am “geographically undesireable” living 35 miles from him. But, the rest is history. He’s passed all the tests and ruined all my suspicions having stood by me through every possible difficulty these 5 years. He’s my best friend, kind, fun, smart, the whole thing. So, for the rest of my life, I’m content to focus on spoiling him rotten—it’s safe to do that with a good man.

You can bet that for as long as the good Lord gives us, we’ll have these monthly anniversaries to celebrate the joy of finding each other so late in life. If you think we’re a little silly, yeah, we are! And we intend to stay that way! Whether it be a simple evening or fancy, hopefully, we won’t miss out on having lots of happy anniversaries together.

DATING & MARRIAGE: Our Wedding

THE WEDDING AND HONEYMOON
Well, we did it. We can’t believe we’re old married folks now. Wally and I were married Saturday May 8th in the small gazebo overlooking Laguna Beach, accompanied by a perfect blue sky and a lovely ocean breeze. The reception was a few steps away at the Las Brisas restaurant also overlooking the azure Pacific. Forty family members and friends graciously came from all over the country. They arrived from Memphis, Canada, San Diego, Sylmar, Nebraska, Palos Verdes and Sacramento. We had decided to skip our whole grown up kids’ generation and any ugly bridesmaid’s dresses, and have just the grandkids in the wedding. No pressure to perform, just fun. Wally has two grown, married sons with 3 grandkids, and I have 2 grown daughters and 2 grandkids.

We took our simple vows as the united families formed a circle around us. We wanted all the kids, young and grown up, to see us unafraid to make a commitment for the rest of our lives, amidst a world where commitment and responsibility are often shied away from. My sister’s 2 grown daughters were there with their husbands and almost grown kids. This was the most difficult part for me. You
see, my beloved sister, who had helped raise me, even when we were “latch key kids” had died suddenly of lung cancer the year before. I had complained to God several weeks before the wedding, “She won’t be there! She was supposed to stand up with me!” She was the one that said of Wally, when she met him, “He’s a keeper!” And just as clear as turning on a radio knob, I instantly heard her voice in my head saying, It’s okay, honey, I’ll be there”. Then, after sobbing my heart out, I was okay from then on knowing that she would be there in spirit. And so she was, as I felt her presence. But seeing her grown daughters’ fighting back their tears during the ceremony, I realized they were missing her too.
My 11 year old grandson, Michael, the little man in my family, gave me away, and his sister, 10 year old Megan was our pretty ring bearer. Wally’s 3 little granddaughters ages 4, 3, and 2 came waddling the aisle, as flower girls, all a-frill in their pretty powder blue and white dresses to match my simple, but elegant dress. The little dolls threw most of the rose pedals from their baskets in one spot thinking that would be the most practical way to empty the baskets, to the chuckles of everyone watching. The ceremony went off without a hitch, as we knew it would because, well, there was no such thing as a hitch. Whatever happened, happened and we didn’t give a rip if it was not “perfect”. All we wanted was our family around us and each other for whatever time we have left in this quickly passing world. Wally looked even more handsome than his gorgeous, tanned sons and I still can’t believe this distinguished, jovial, charismatic fox with the contagious grin is now my husband.
After the wedding we all walked several yards to the “Las Brisas” restaurant, overlooking the ocean for a delicious lunch, wedding cake and champagne. You see, we had lured the family to come from all over the country by making the wedding a three day party at the beach. We had rented 10 ocean view rooms, as our gift to them, at our favorite resort hotel a few blocks from the gazebo. And we were very insistent that we would receive no gifts. After all, our own cupboards were packed as tight as sardines in a can to begin with, and who needs another knick-knack to dust?
The partying started Friday afternoon, the day before the wedding. After the families and kids had all arrived, we served a simple, delicious take-out Chinese food on one of the ocean view decks, relaxed and enjoyed the sunset together as each branch of the family got acquainted.
Saturday afternoon after the wedding and reception were over, we all adjourned to our resort hotel where we indulged in boogie boarding, building sand castles and exchanging favorite family stories. At dinner time, we brought in pizza, drinks and a CD I had made of our favorite tunes. I had had weeks of fun putting together, with the help of a DJ, 2 hour’s worth of our favorites to dance to. The music varied from, “Blue Swede Shoes”, “Blueberry Hill”, “The Twist” to “Play That Funky Music, White Boy.” Wally and I love to dance and the “dance floor” rocked out with every age going strong from 3 year olds to those in their 70’s.
Sunday was Mother’s Day. Most of us had brunch at Las Brisas as we dealt with the thought of re-entry shock going back to the real world. To be surrounded by so much love for 3 days left Wally and me in a total state of contentment.
Three days later, Wally and I left for Hawaii. First, we stopped in Honolulu for the specific purpose of seeing Pearl Harbor. I had never been. It was more moving than anything I’ve ever experienced as an American. Standing in the memorial over the USS Arizona, looking at 1177 kids names that went down with the ship made it seem like it happened yesterday. As I leaned over the rail to see the oil still seeping up from below, a young girl next to me was gently throwing flowers into the water. As the oil came up, my tears of gratitude flowed down with her flowers. I was touched to see tears in the eyes of young people and the quiet that settled over all of us as we entered the memorial. One thing I’ve never heard mentioned is how close to shore the USS Arizona was anchored. I imagined boys going to bed that Saturday night thinking if anything happened, they could swim the few yards to shore. But, they never knew what hit them. Sunk in 9 minutes flat. They died before they could even get to the deck and swim to shore. I did the math. 1177 kids, (the youngest was 17 with 36 sets of brothers). If the average age was 22 and most people live to be say, 65 that equals 43 years of life cut off for each. Now, 43 years missed, times 1177 boys equals 50,611 birthdays alone missed, plus 50,611 Christmas holidays. That’s over 100,000 special occasions. Now life is not just lived by special occasions. The years lost to their parents, grandparents, wives, girlfriends, and children is incomprehensible. What cost freedom. Had we not entered WWII because of Pearl Harbor, England could easily have lost the war and we could all be living under terrible tyranny even now. A little study of history tells me that we came very close, several times, to losing that war. We could have all been speaking German now. Had we not been hit at Pearl Harbor, the USA might have delayed entering the war and Great Britain could well have been overcome. I often think occasionally when I get discouraged, of one of my favorite quotes by Winston Churchill, after 40 days of constant bombing in London during that war.
He said, by radio, “We will never, never, never, never give up”.
Later that same day, on the USS Missouri, we stood in the very spot where the surrender of Japan occurred, and saw the bunks the boys slept in. Every American should see Pearl Harbor. I wish I could buy each one a ticket. It really makes you think.
Then, feeling very lucky to be alive, we flew on to our real honeymoon on the beach on the magnificent Island of Maui. Every day we snorkeled somewhere as the thousands of colorful fish put on quite a show! Now, I’m not superstitious at all, but I have to tell you of a glorious experience I had snorkeling. Turquoise is my favorite color. I think the whole world could be different shades of it. Well, twice, while snorkeling, as soon as I put my face in the water, a very large (maybe 10 inches long) gorgeous turquoise fish swam right up to the face of my mask, looked me straight in the eye and swam away never to be seen again. I took that as a sign. Welcome to Hawaii and welcome to my new life with my Wally.
Anyway, we did dinner cruises, excursions to other islands, went to a luau, took a hula lesson and even a lei making lesson. Wally’s kids said we did more in our 2 weeks there than they ever had as adults. But, see, we don’t have forever like they do, so we intend to whoop it up on the excuse that we’re older.

Okay, I have to tell you, I even took a surfing lesson after a lifetime of longingly looking at surfers at home in Huntington Beach. I made no attempt to stand up. Just wanted to see what it felt like to ride a couple of waves in. As if powered by jet fuel, I hung on for dear life as my coach gave me a shove in front of the largest waves I’ve ever seen. I know I was going at least a zillion miles per hour as I looked up long enough to see horror stricken people on shore scattering like sparks from an engine and running for their lives as I came roaring into shore obviously being completely out of control. What a total blast! What a surge of power to feel the strength of nature behind me! Of course, my arm muscles ached for days just from hanging on! But, it is part of our strategy. Do it now. Don’t wait for tomorrow.
We’re home now, snug and almost smug in our new life. We’re each back to work and delirious that we get to come home to the same house every night. Is that really happening after all these years alone or are we just dreaming? Somehow, we’re living in a state of gratitude for life in general. Grateful for our jobs, our health, our kids, for America, for ocean waves to play in, and, well, just every thing. And I hope we will always be thrilled at the memory of how excited everyone was for us on our wedding day. We plan to look for opportunities to express enthusiasm to our loved ones whenever we have that opportunity.

THE SOUTH: Southern Hospitality

LOCAL REALTOR BRAVES TRIP TO DEEP SOUTH


Film at eleven. Well, almost! Yes, it is true; I got back last week from Memphis and Jackson Tennessee after a 9-day visit with my “baby” sisters Janis and Linda. And visited 82-year-old Mama.
Now, I wonder, if you all understand how brave I was! First of all, there’s the language barrier. I mean, you tell me what this phrase means, “Ya-all ladies come back and see us, ya-all hear? That’s what the bubbly waitress said as we left a restaurant in Jackson. (They all sound like they’ve been drinking out of a Dixie cup). And what right did she have to be so happy and cute anyway? Full of energy and delighted to help us. This only 2 weeks after the entire downtown area of Jackson had been torn to pieces by the tornado. Looks like London must have looked after the bombings in WW II! There we sat with so much jovial talk around us—chatting with the same owner who stood in the street 2 weeks before cooking on a BBQ and distributing food because all of his food was rotting in a refrigerator with no electricity. What’s the matter with these people? Don’t they know the meaning of defeat? Evidently not. And, how delightful is it to be addressed as, “Ma’m” and, “Yes Ma’m” by people older and younger than me! Even those with the most menial jobs seemed happy to serve us and behaved as if it was a privilege! What a concept! Hey, this is my roots! I can learn something here! I want to have more of that attitude in my life, in my business! It’s a privilege to serve people! I’m carrying that home with me!

But I digress. I had decided, in my martyrdom state of mind, to go to Jackson to see my family and vowed never once to gripe about the mosquitoes that I knew were viciously lurking around waiting for me. Every morning I sprayed on repellent armed and ready. Well, the jokes on me. They never appeared! It was still spring and they’re not out yet! They did arrive the day after I left. There is a God. And I wasn’t going to complain about the heat and humidity, either. But the weatherman called my bluff! It was a perfect 70-75 degrees with no humidity at all!

Now, what do you suppose a realtor loves to do on vacation besides eat everything in sight? You got it. Janis and I went shopping for homes! She needs to get out of that 3000 plus square foot mansion, poor baby, on 2 acres where the majority of her life is spent mowing. Her life as a school counselor doesn’t allow much spare time for that. So, are you ready for this? We found 1500-1700 square foot homes 2-3 years new in gorgeous neighborhoods for $112,000 to $119,000—on half acre or more lots. You knew it already. Even though Jackson is the perfect mid sized town one hour outside Memphis, population a perfect 80,000 or so, center of the medical community for the county and college community and home of Casey Jones the railroad engineer, still homes are reasonable. Major sticker shock for me and actually a good experience to know better the feelings my buyers and sellers go through. It was fun being the sister of the buyer and enjoying her thought processes—not that different than what my clients go through here! And I found myself giving her the same advice as here. Do it now. The rates are in your favor. It’s nice to find out that what I say to clients I really believe myself.

Well, we had fun! And I realized that my family isn’t that far away. A four-hour flight. I even tried to sneak some southern hospitality into my luggage to bring home and, hopefully, spread around here. Surely, we all could stand a little more jovial attitude, language barrier and all. I was also pleased with the tough security check at LAX and Memphis. They checked every inch of my luggage. Did they think I look like a terrorist? I don’t know. I’m just glad they’re doing it. I felt safer.
It will take me a few days to get my mouth back to normal but I’m working on it. You won’t mind if I address you with a, “Yes ma’m” or “Yes sir” once in awhile, will you? Meanwhile, I realize that I came back more refreshed and blessed than when I went. That makes it worth all the imagined risks of mosquitoes, humidity, tornadoes and terrorists. Visiting my roots was a wake up call. So, ya’ll give me a call when you need me, ya’ll hear? I’d be mighty privileged!

ELVIS: The Same Humble Beginnings

We lived in the same low income, government housing project in our early childhood: Lauderdale Courts in Memphis, Tenn. He was born in Tupelo, Miss. and his family like my grandparents were survivors of the Depression. He was 4 years ahead of me in high school. He attended Hughes High and my high school was the next one down the road...East High. We never met, but our southern routes were similar and we loved the same kind of music.

My sister and I would sneak to the radio late at night in our room so our grandmother wouldn’t hear us, to turn on the “black” music station and hear the really bluesy, soulful, funky music coming out of Memphis, the blues capital of the world. And, if we were good kids, Sunday night after church, the youth pastor would take us all across town to sit in the balcony and listen to the best gospel music ever. The little, clapboard church would literally shake on it’s foundation as the choirs rocked out.

If only the white population had something or someone like that, we would say. Well, one fine day, my Daddy, who worked at a large music store downtown, sold a beautiful guitar to an unknown, polite little guy. They threw his old, beat up guitar from Sears in the trash. (Oh, to have that souvenir now, Daddy would say in later years!) His name was Elvis Presley. Elvis never forgot how my Daddy helped him and so began our favorite family story.

Elvis soon, as you know, went on to become the King of Rock and Roll. Pop music would never be the same as he delivered, swivel hips and all, a beat the world could not resist. It was what we had secretly been listening to on “black” radio for years, but he brought it all to mainstream America. We danced our hearts out in high school and college to, “Blue Suede Shoes”, “Hound Dog”. “All Shook Up”…(with all those profound literary lyrics), and wept over every high school break-up to the tune of, “Heart Break Hotel.”

As I said, Elvis never forgot Daddy. Daddy was a violinist…quite an entertainer…and had a strolling trio of violinists who played for fancy parties in Memphis, strolling around the party and taking requests. He played at Graceland for many of Elvis’s birthday parties. Elvis was very loyal to the people he trusted. When Elvis was on the road, he would frequently and generously throw out to the audience a guitar or two as souvenirs. They were good ones too, like expensive Martin, Gibson and Ovation guitars. Daddy would get the call to send him more guitars because Elvis knew Daddy knew exactly what kind of touch Elvis wanted in a guitar.

When Elvis bought Graceland, I was going to college at Cal State Northridge, having spent many years in upstate New York…but that’s another story.
All those years after he died, I avoided visiting Graceland because I thought it would be a cheap, cheesy tourist attraction. Finally, in 1994, while visiting my family in Memphis, my little sisters took me to Graceland. I was impressed with how tastefully it was and is kept. In fact, due to tasteful planning, Graceland today brings the Presley family more now than what he earned in his career! Indeed, what seems like miles of hallways are lined with his gold records. The enormity of his popularity really hits you when you see them. Memphis is still rampant with the stories of Elvis’s generosity. A very poor church, for example, in the poverty section of town wrote Elvis and asked him to pay for repairing their organ. He, instead, remodeled the whole church.

I think of him often, actually. I listen to the gospel music he so loved and hear a heart unafraid to show pure emotion. I think of the tragedy of his getting hooked on prescription drugs, exacerbated by insomnia; the tragedy of him being so charismatic that whatever he said was law and few dared challenge him for fear of losing their job or his friendship. I regret that so few understood the dangers at that time.

But most of all I remember his humble beginnings, so like my own, which hardly prepared him for such a treacherous world of negotiating contracts and wondering who to trust. Yes, there was the joy of great wealth, but he was also a prisoner in his own home.

I went on to work my way through college, become a junior high and high school teacher, and later spent 12 years in radio doing broadcast news, designing ad campaigns and negotiating contracts, before going into real estate 14 years ago. Somehow, fractured family and all, I got the message that if I got my education, no one could take that away from me. Somehow, out there I had guidance when I needed it to steer me in the right direction. I wish Elvis could have had the same. Yes, he had some great successes and tons of money. But I wish he could have been happy too. I hope we can all learn something from his tragic ending.

SPRINGTIME: Daylight Savings

THE GIFT BEGINS

We take it for granted every year. Who could blame us? After all, we’ve known all our lives that daylight savings time will come…this year Sunday March 9th. Big deal. But as I watch the buds on the trees begin, and the rainy days decrease, my thoughts turn to the delightful gift of two or more hours added onto our days without the slightest effort on our part. The clock will do me the favor without my even having to ask. Am I entitled to this gift? Of course not. Yet I take it for granted. How then shall I use this undeserved gift? How will I use this new opportunity? How many more of these springtime gifts will each of us have, anyway?
You’ve heard the phrase “if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it,” or “80% of the work is done by 20% of the people. Where do I want to fit? I’m a busy person as you probably are but if I’m in the 20%, well, I want to make it count and not just clutter it up with more busyness.
This kind of thinking is not new to me, however. My thoughts get very introspective each spring even though we in Southern California don’t crawl out from months of snow and dreary weather. We do see changes in the air. Last week my daughter Stacey and I visited the Bolsa Chica Wetlands and stood for hours admiring the terns, seagulls, and even fish jumping out of the water like silver blades cutting through the air. It was like a 3 hour vacation in a tropical land except it’s 10 minutes from our house. Perhaps that’s what started me looking forward to daylight saving time and my spirits were lifted just by seeing the sun come out after the series of rains we’ve had.
Whatever the cause of my thinking of the gift of 2 more hours of daylight, I came home from the wetlands vowing to stop more often and observe nature around me, to not get so busy that I disregard this great gift. I will soon be listing a home where the lady has a garden. She tells me there’s nothing like working with the soil and watching your handiwork bloom. My husband, having grown up on a farm, is more in touch with nature than most. I am learning from him, also, to stop and smell the roses.
Oh, yes, the usual joys of summer will take place. Out will come our favorite boogie boards and happy wet suits to take to San Clemente on a day off and feel the press of nature lifting us up and carrying us to shore. Imagine a free, personal ride with nature. Nothing like it. And we’ll get in the pool with the grandkids as often as we can. Midweek in June we’ll slip away for a few days with the kids to camp in the Sequoia National Forest, fish, sit by the fire and sing silly camp songs along with my guitar.
But what about those 2 extra hours a day? I will not attempt to do more than my schedule already allows, but simply to do it better with a new zing in my step. Rising a little earlier will seem easier. I’m already more motivated to get more organized so we can have time for the fun stuff. This year, during the rains, Wally and I have gone to the movies more than ever before. We’ve seen our fair share of alleged A rated movies that were very disappointing. Who rates these things anyway? Our little joke is that if it’s A rated (artistic, alleged great acting) it usually turns out to be very dark, violent and, well, even boring. Our friends Carol and Steve had warned us that “Atonement” was so boring they almost walked out half way through. But no. We had to see for ourselves. After all, I have a background in the arts and acting and it was promoted as a Jane Austin type film. Well, it was boring, long, dark sad, hard to follow, etc. But Hollywood thought it was great. I guess we’re weird. We like movies that make us laugh, or inspire us and make us think. After seeing, “The Bucket List” we had several lively discussions about what we’d like to do with the rest of our lives before we croak. No, we won’t be sky diving like Denzel Washington, but we’ll be doing other fun stuff. So, I shall return to my favorite escape…reading at bedtime. I’m reading, “Sea of Glory” right now after finishing, “Daniel Boone”. Love to read history as you probably know.
So March 9th is simply a great mid year wake up call for us. We evaluate how we’ve spent the hibernation of what we in Huntington Beach laughingly call winter and look to spring. “Summertime and the living is easy. Fish are jumpin’ and the cotton is high.” Well, maybe living isn’t always “easy”. But even for those of us who work, there are hours left to get out and enjoy even if it’s only your own back yard. I wish for you a joyous spring. Oh, and it wouldn’t hurt to try boogie boarding too. It’s a much better substitute than sky diving.

Quote across bottom of page:
“Take care of the minutes. for the hours will take care of themselves.” Lord Chesterfield
Other Quotes:
“The time is always right to do what is right.” Lincoln

“Time heals all wounds.” (Saying). “Time wounds all heels.” (Frank Case)

“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander Time; for that’s the stuff Life is made of.” B. Franklin

“Start by doing the necessary, then do the possible. Suddenly you’re doing the impossible.” Unknown

“No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.” Thomas Jefferson

“One touch of Nature makes the whole world kin.” Shakespeare

Nature is ever at work building and pulling down, creating and destroying, keeping everything whirling and flowing, allowing no rest buy in rhythmical motion, chasing everything in endless song out of one beautiful form into another.” John Muir

“Nature’s above art.” Shakespeare

“We all look at Nature too much, and live with her too little.” Oscar Wilde

“Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly.”

SPRINGTIME: Sticks In My Yard

Why hasn’t the City come by and cut down those useless, tall sticks in my front yard and all along the street? Can’t they see how useless they are? Barren, brown, offering no shade or visible use. The City must know something. It happens every year. The sticks stand there with all this hidden potential down inside. Pretending to be dead and looking the part. Ah, but the Sherlock Holmes in me is now watching very closely everyday. Because, by instinct, I'm in on the secret too. And, by golly, I detect tiny, tiny little green “things” appearing. Even I, who am near sighted, who hates the dark of winter can see them growing. Gee, I think they are trees! Why, they’ll be gorgeous in a few weeks! I just know it! I’m glad the City didn’t give up on them and rip them out because they are not producing. Yet.

And so it is with the lives I see around me. A life that is not fully productive—yet. But given time and some encouragement, well, who knows? The story’s not in on all of us yet. I recently sold a house for a yoong couple who, due to losing jobs 6 months ago and overspending too, were facing foreclosure. They waited too long to get the house on the market and the bank was hot on their trail. I made up my mind that I would do everything I know to get them out of there without the scars of foreclosure on their record. After more negotiating than you want to hear about, I sold it and got it closed before the bank closed in. At first glance, this couple looks pretty hopeless. But given time and a fresh start, just watch their dust.

Many of you know I have a disabled daughter. Heartbreaking. Will a cure be found? Cut down in the prime of life with so much potential. Had a computer career, good job, talent, smart, hard worker. All that seems to be lost now. Well, guess what? She’s like those trees in my yard. The story’s not all in yet. Not by a long shot. And we will never, never, never, never give up. Not today, not next year, not ever. We will take our inspiration from the great violinist Paganini, who, while playing in a large concert performance, had a string break. He kept playing beautifully. Another string broke. He continued. A third string broke. Down to only one string he finished the concerto. Beautifully. We will strive on, on one string, if necessary. The barren trees will bloom. Maybe not as soon as I would like, but they will bloom.

I will not fret away my life and don’t you either. “ I’ve already suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.” I have a chance here on earth to bloom where I’m planted, for as long as I can and I will take that opportunity. Chuck Swindall said, “The longer I live, the more convinced I become that life is 10% what happens to us and 90 % how we respond to it.” That doesn’t mean that you and will never be discouraged or shed some tears. It does mean that we will dry our tears, pull up our socks, roll up our sleeves and deal with it. I see it all around me. Those sticks in the yard are going to bloom and so will we. Spring is here at last.

CHRISTMAS: Giving

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

It’s the time of year when we struggle with New Year’s resolutions, wrestle with whether to bother with them, and wonder if they do help for awhile, maybe, at last til January 5th.
This year, however, I see it all from a slightly different angle that I did a year ago. I am now marveling at how some certain wonderful concepts should never change. Take generosity for example.
It all began innocently enough in November when one of my sellers asked me if I knew anyone who might want her piano. She didn’t want to haul it to the new house and try to sell it there. She’d love for a child to have it and it was free. Well, our little 5 year old grandchild, Rachel, was in need of a piano, is taking lesson on an electric keyboard (which doesn’t have the same touch) and we had been keeping an eye out for one for her. So, I was thrilled to tell my family of the offer. We could have it if we could pick it up that Saturday morning when her movers came.
Yippee! Suddenly I felt like the rich Orange County realtor that I have occasionally been called. After all, consider this. While some people give their grandchildren cheap trinkets from Target, rich Orange County Realtor, Ann Baker, who has alleged endless funds (just kidding, don’t I wish) and a generous heart, is giving her grandchildren a piano for Christmas, no less. (Uh, never mind that it’s free).

So, after many phone calls…how to move it, could we pay her movers to help us load it, yadda, yadda, we met at 8:00 AM at her house and loaded it into son Rob’s van. You see, the moral of the story is that if you have as much money as the rich Orange County realtor, you can pull off just about anything. Even though I’m kidding, I am so tickled to do this and especially for not a penny spent. My client wouldn’t hear of it. By the way,
I could write 3 more pages about generous sellers who took the high road at every turn in their escrows wanting to be fair to the new buyers coming in. Even though I place certain phrases in their counter offers to protect them on every level, some still insist on being generous. And, a few here and there, are, well, jerks by nature and will fight over a hair on the ground. It seems there is a delicious story of human nature tucked away in the little crevices of every sale in the dramas of real estate. I don’t tell these tales often, though, for fear some future client will think I expect him to be generous in areas where they can’t or shouldn’t be.

And I kid about the rich OC realtor thing because many times a new client takes that position when they look at realtor commissions, because they just don’t know, until I show them with pencil and paper that I really, if I’m lucky, clear about 1% of the commission listed after my marketing, delivery crew, printing, insurance, taxes, signs, flyers, etc. I even had a buyer in my car last week ask me if Tarbell pays for my car! I explain that we are independent contractors and pay for everything. This is why you see such a high turn over with real estate agents every year. If you don’t do volume, you can’t cover your expenses and if you can’t spend money marketing your listings, it’s not fair to the seller, in my view. For example, I’m the only realtor in South HB that I know of who has an entire crew of 7-9 people delivering flyers promoting my clients homes 3-4 times per month to thousands of homes. Of course, some clients think regardless of the market that realtors always have the advantage. But, when you thin about it, in a “bad” seller’s market, clients want a good hunk of your commission because they will now get less because the house isn’t worth as much anymore. Conversely, in a good seller’s market, they think the realtor is making a lot, so he should give them back part of his commission, forgetting that he is also making a lot more on his home and to get top dollar, he needs good marketing…which costs money. But, you know, that’s the name of the game. I say if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. In my 14 years as a realtor, I like to think I’ve learned to balance the whole thing and be fair at the same time. We get paid for what we do because we assume a great deal of liability on both sides. We earn it. Or at least I think I do. Indeed, most of the time, at the end of an escrow, my clients tell me they really had no idea o all that I do and are, in fact, astounded and grateful.
But I digress. What’s this all got to do with a piano? I guess being able to give the kids a piano struck a chord with me (pardon the pun). Pretty jazzy, huh? (Even though it was free to me). The point is that for one brief moment in paradise, I really felt like the rich Orange County realtor I’ve been accused of being for so long. (Never mind that it was free. And we didn’t call it a Christmas gift to them because, well, I can’t live up to that every year.
I’ve had a lot of fun with this. I am reminded that there is no greater joy than giving someone something they really want or need. And that concept never changes. Now, I may attempt to change some aspects of my life next year, but this kind of joy I intend to work on and never change. By the way, the extra benefit is that we may have another piano player in the family coming up besides me. And I’ll get to play when we visit the kids since I don’t have much time to when I’m working. In which case, I think I’ll buy the family earplugs for when I come over. But that’s another story.
Happy Resolutions and Happy New Year To One and All!

LIGHTER SIDE: Your Life In Six Words

Here’s a fun exercise. Could you sum up your life in six words? On line magazine, “Smith”, compiled a few famous quotes to get you started. For example:
Author Elizabeth Gilbert said, “Me see world, me write stories.”
Chef Mario Batall, “Brought it to a boil often.”
Author Emily Hambridge, “Wanted to write but feared failure.”
Others:, “Became my mother. Shoot me.”
“It’s pretty high. You go first.”
“It was embarrassing, so don’t ask.”
“Wasn’t born a redhead. Fixed that.”
“One tooth, one cavity, Life’s cruel.”
“Made a mess, cleaned it up.”
“Put whole self in, shook about.”
“My second grade teacher was right.”
“Secret of life. Marry an Italian.”
“Little bit Lucy, tempered by Ethel.”
“Experienced a lot. Regretted very little.”
“Climb every mountain. Ford every stream.”
Think about it. What would yours be? It’s a fun thing to do with friends and family.

PRESIDENT LINCOLN

I WISH I’D MET HIM

He’s always been my favorite. He was considered an ugly duckling not only as a child but as an adult. I can relate to this somewhat, because as a child I was a skinny little thing. He was geeky in his clothes, too. All elbows and knees. It wasn’t that clothes couldn’t be made for him at 6’4”, but he was poor and couldn’t afford them. But all that is just appearance. What I love about him is that he was so darn good at seeing both sides of everyone’s story, not just his side.

When he became a leader, some of his competitors hated him because, well, they lost to him and were full of envy. They were more educated, more experienced in their field and they lost to this unknown upstart. Now, most of us would have just kept our distance from these rivals. Not him. He saw the skills of each of them and put them in important positions where their expertise could be used. It didn’t occur to him to be threatened by their superior educations, culture and prestige. When asked, “What will you do with all these enemies?” He quickly responded “I’ll make them my friends.” And so he did. He was able to have compassion for his enemies because he understood them. That’s tough to do.

Would that we could all have a dose of that. Now, he had an irritating wife, as some folks do. She had migraines and probably PMS and often lashed out at him in public. He would gently sooth her, understanding all the pressure she was under and loved her anyway while others watched in amazement.

You may have guessed by now that I’m talking about my beloved friend, Abraham Lincoln. Oh, I hated history in school because it was a bunch of dumb dates about a bunch of powder-haired stuff shirts that I couldn’t relate to. If only one person had made me dig deeper and read just one book about him so I could learn what a wonderful human being he was! Now that I’ve read several books about him, he is alive to me and has had an impact on my life! You know he learned to read in a shabby cabin by candlelight. So what, a kid might ask. Think about it. What kind of fire in the belly did that take? He taught himself law by reading books late into the night, after a long work day, often walking for miles just to borrow a book. Where, on earth, did he get the drive, all on his own, in the midst of his poverty, to do all this? He wasn’t even exposed to any great motivational teachers like we expect our kids to have. And if our kids don’t achieve, it’s the teachers fault! But I digress.

When he went to meet the other legislators in his first elected position in Illinois, they laughed at him. Ugly. Pants too short. From the back woods. But when he spoke, squeaky voice and all, down to earth sensible logic came out of his mouth and they stood back in awe. Indeed, in the early days, while on the “circuit” in the times when lawyers rode from town to town with a judge to do court duties for the area, they all gathered round in the local boarding house dinner table to hear his Mark Twain type humor telling homey hilarious stories. That’s the other thing I love about him...his self deprecating humor. For example, in one of the famous Lincoln-Douglas debates, Douglas accused him of being two faced. Lincoln smiled calmly and replied, “I leave it to my audience. If I had two faces, would I be wearing this one?” And to the question, “How tall are you?” He responded, “Tall enough to reach the ground.” The common man could relate to this homespun humor. They loved him. And so do I.
He had an ingenious way of helping his enemies save face even after he knew they had criticized him behind his back. He would invite the man into his oval office and tell him not to worry. He would say that he had heard the talk and that he would, “Never believe you would say a thing like that about me.” The man would leave ashamed of himself, realizing that he had been caught, but that Lincoln had helped him save face, and leave forever a loyal supporter. That produced a long trail of faithful supporters for Lincoln over a lifetime who he had forgiven and won over.
His listening skills and ability to see the other side of every situation with compassion was a large part of his greatness. Take the South for example. Many of them hated Lincoln for freeing the slaves. But after his assassination, they realized he was the greatest friend they ever could have had. He had great empathy for them and their losses. His generals wanted the southern generals to be thrown in prison. He said no. Forgive. Let’s heal and help. Let’s be a nation again. I’m so glad that at least he lived to see the end of the war and his dream of freeing the slaves and saving the union accomplished.
Management seminars are conducted today to learn his skills in relating to people and forming loyalty. Books are written such as, “Lincoln on Leadership”, by Donald Phillips. But my favorite book, “Team of Rivals”, by Doris Kearns, a Pulitzer Prize winner, describes all these delicious stories about this heroic human being. Please read it. I leave you with the greatest words ever written in American history from the Gettysburg address, “We here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain-that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom-and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

If there be a heaven where time and space end, and I am fortunate enough to get there, one of my first requests will surely be, “Can I meet him?”

MOVIN' ON

Many of you ask me why your neighbor is moving. Some of you, with an incredulous look, say, “How could anyone ever leave this sunny California weather?” So, I thought you’d enjoy a few interesting true stories about my clients who’ve moved on this last year, where they moved to and why. You will relate to some and think some are nuts but, hopefully; I’ll answer some of your questions. I will use fictitious names to protect their privacy.

First of all, it’s hard to call them just “clients” because we become friends as I get to protect them through this life changing process called selling their home. From the first call when they want to know what to do to present the house better, to staging their home, to hearing their family story, to negotiating the offer and saying good-bye, it is all very emotional for them. They seem relieved when I assure them that all their feelings are normal. (“Gee, are we doing the right thing, oh, my gosh, we’ve been here forever, oh, I’ll miss…... how do I get rid of all this stuff accumulated all these years?”). The truth is everyone goes through all this to some degree. It’s usually the biggest decision people make in their lives and often the biggest financial one. Mostly what motivates them is a hunger to have more free time with their family, less driving in the congestion, more land and a more affordable cost of living.

I call this scenario the drama of real estate and if I ever have time to write a book, my observations of some of these wonderful folks will be in it, watching them as they go through these big decisions. Let’s take Joe and Mary Smith for example. A professional couple, highly educated. They have lots of relatives in a small town in Ohio and go back part of each summer to fish, swim in the lakes, and be with family. They wanted their son, now entering junior college to be in the midst of “mid-western values” in those important years. Also college is less expensive in the mid west. The Dad was up to his neck with a mortgage here that would probably never be paid off. They had enough good old California equity to sell and buy cash there. After several trips back, and after we did the math, they made the big step. The found a home over 3000 square feet there so affordable that they could pay cash from the proceeds of the house here. Of course, to their delight, it backs a deer preserve and is on several acres. Anyway, this highly professional, charming man was so relieved the night I brought him a good offer on the home here, that he told me later it was the best night’s sleep he’d had in months knowing that from now on the financial pressure would be over. Forever. He hadn’t realized how much it had all been bothering him until then. When I called to see if they had arrived safely in Ohio, he was standing in the street as the moving van arrived in the small town. He sounded choked up. I thought, “Uh-oh, what’s wrong?” He said, “Ann, when the van pulled in, the neighbors began to stream out of their homes, bringing food to welcome us. They helped us unload, too.” Welcome to small town America. Since 9/11, by the way, lots of my seller’s have said, “We’re going home”. We need family for our kids to grow up near.

Indeed, adjusting your finances can really lift your spirits and your outlook on life. Take Bill and Suzy Jones. They’d only been in their home here 4-5 years but gained enough equity to pay cash for a gorgeous 3500 square foot, brand new home in Las Vegas. What, no state taxes? They can now afford to save, travel, and have more time together.

Two of my widowed clients last year chose to move out of state to be near friends rather than face the future alone here. They said they felt safer in a small town. A third one is retiring to a cozy one story condo in the Huntington Landmark retirement community…just blocks away where she’ll still be near her church and friends here. She also can pay cash with her proceeds. Another delightful family recently got rid of their large home and its huge mortgage and moved all the way to, well, downtown Huntington Beach where they are renting for awhile enjoying not having all the responsibility of home ownership and walking on the beach often. They’ll buy later after they decide where to downsize. And, for some happy reason, I’ve sold a slug of houses for firemen. It pleases me no end to be their realtor since they are my heroes. There’s nothing as much fun as hearing from the a couple who retired to Palm Springs area and are having a ball decorating their new home and playing golf to their hearts content.
But I digress. Another young couple is moving to Austin Texas to a newer home on 2 acres with a stream running through it. Their home here doubled in value the 4 years they’ve owned it. So we have down-sizing, up-sizing, whatever. Life is short, they tell me, and folks don’t want to be a slave to their mortgage or feel trapped by it. There are choices in life and they have chosen to be pro-active. It’s springtime in Texas, Ohio, Tennessee, wherever. “Fish are jumpin’ and the cotton is high.” And as the packing boxes arrive, these folks are movin’ on leaving behind the shackles of high mortgages. Free at last.
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“Use life to provide something that outlasts it.”

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this…you haven’t.”
“Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.” (Brendan Behan)
“Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.”
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.”
“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
“Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.”
“A closed mouth gathers no foot.”
“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

TAX HUMOR

The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school which leaves 55 million to do the work. Of this, there are 35 million employed by the federal government, leaving 15 million to do the work. 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Bin-Laden which leaves 12.2 million to do the work. Take from that total 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. At any given time there are 188,000 people in the hospitals leaving 1,212,000 to do the work. Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And there you are, sitting on you tail, reading the Baker Breeze. Nice, real nice. (Thanks to email Olean friend Joe Panus for forwarding this to me. I made a few changes).
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A SALUTE TO MOTHERS & GRANDMOTHERS

“A mom is like a comfortable quilt. She keeps us warm but never smothers us.” The art of mothering is to teach the art of living. The curve of a mother’s smile can set a lot of things straight. I have found that no kisses can ever compare to “mom” kisses, because mom kisses can heal anything. (Quotes from “Bits & Pieces)
The joys of motherhood…what a woman experiences when all the kids are finally in bed. Life’s golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car. Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he’s in trouble. You know the only people in this world who are always sure the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any. Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers. There are 3 ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it. Avenge yourself, Mom. Live long enough to be a problem to your children. Grandmom’s….” My children believe I’m the oldest thing in the world and after 2 or 3 hours with them, I believe it, too.” “Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One minute you’re just a mother. The next you are all wise and prehistoric. “The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.” (Dave Berry)
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QUOTES:

“A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.” Maya Angelou

“Think of your life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived.” Anna Quindlen

“Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.”

“Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.”

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Martin Luther King Jr.

HOW WILL WE BE REMEMBERED?

So much is written nowadays about a person’s “legacy”. Politicians worry about how they will be remembered. Historical facts are even sometimes “adjusted” to make the record look good. Indeed, some presidents who were not popular during their lifetime have risen to be called great as history proves that they made the right decisions without the benefit of hindsight.

We ordinary mortals sometimes worry about how we will be remembered in our little corner of the world, within our circle of influence. We face the realization of our mortality and don’t like the idea of possibly being forgotten. History will not remember most of us as a Beethoven, Van Gogh, Churchill, Lincoln, Elvis, the Beatles, Van Halen, Charlton Heston and the list goes on. It even causes us to wonder if our life has any meaning at all if we are just a speck of sand on this huge revolving ball in a universe that seems limitless as astronomers find more and more universes and galaxies as each year they develop more powerful lenses. In fact, it causes me to chuckle when I read that a “new planet” has been “discovered”. I’m convinced that there’s lots more out there and we cannot conceive of anything being limitless. Perhaps that is why we are fascinated with the beauty of a sunset or the ocean because we are staring off into an incomprehensible eternity. As a sidebar. I feel we were built for eternity and that is why we resist instinctively even minor changes in our daily routines. We want things to be permanent and in that sense secure, reliable.

So this instinctive concern to have immortality and be remembered all locks in together. That’s why some people have gone to extraordinary measures to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. Please, somebody remember me! It’s my life! It’s all about me! I’m all I’ve got. Well, at most we might be remembered for one or two generations. For the same reason, we admire someone who can trace his roots back to 1500 or 1700. I’ve read the Roosevelt family can trace their family back to the Mayflower and Pat Boone traces his family back to Daniel Boone.

In pondering this over time, I have decided that none of this really matters! I personally don’t care anymore! What gave me this aha revelation was going to Grandparent’s Day at our 7 year old granddaughter Rachel’s school a few weeks ago in San Diego. She was so pleased to see that I could come and excitedly showed me around her room. I thought I was going for her, but, as usual, I’m the one who got blessed. I was thrilled and encouraged to see her second grade class so enthusiastic about school and learning. So innocent, so eager to listen. Afterward, her Dad and Mom took us all to lunch along with little sister Tori. In the car driving to lunch together I got to share a few things with these 2 little eager beavers who I fondly call, “Sugar”... It was little nothing things in terms of the universe, but stuff in my heart. Maybe they won’t even remember what I said. But, hopefully, it might add a little buzz to their experience or even enhance what Mom and Dad are trying to instill in them. I mentioned to them how wonderful it was to be in a great school, that that is their job just like Mommy and Daddy and I have our jobs. That school is the most important thing in the world and will affect their whole lives, how important reading is, that no wonder their teachers love them because they are polite and well behaved, that how lucky that they have parents who value school for them and made sure they are in a good school. Like I say not big stuff but maybe coming from someone else who is not Mommy, it might mean something or plant a few seeds. They’ll get all this anyway in their good environment but it’s nice to know I could help out.

Driving home on the 5 freeway, in full view of that glorious blue Pacific, I had my “aha” moment. I got rid of the burden of the luggage of legacy. It hit me... My life doesn’t need to be about me, me, me to be happy. All about me. Frankly, I get a little bored with “me” all the time. I can forget the legacy bit because when I leave this planet, I won’t know about any legacy left behind anyway! I’m going somewhere where I’ll be so happy off in that golden sunset, that I won’t give a hoot whether I’m remembered on earth or not. Perhaps I’ll be sitting on one of those clouds playing my guitar or boogie boarding on those endless waves. All that matters to me is the hope of leaving some words or deed of encouragement for those who remain behind me so they can carry on the good fight, the good life. I’m just happy that I got here at all to enjoy it…to enjoy the wonderful “now”.

And that is where the irony comes in. Like a boomerang, by giving off those waves of encouragement and excitement whenever possible, even in little nuggets like Grandparent’s Day, it comes back to me full circle. I get blessed, I have a good time, I enjoy life and it has meaning. That is enough for me. So, why worry? I’ll leave the legacy struggle to the politicians and enjoy life while I’m here on the planet! I hope you feel the same.
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Quote bottom of first page: “Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value”. Albert Einstein